Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Please don't ride with me if you're going to grab the dash or scream every time we run off the road. It makes me nervous.

   I said, "Alexa, what do women want"? The thing hasn't shut up for seven days.

   We'll be back next week to sh*t on your country again 🤣

   Every drop of water on earth has been through multiple kidneys at this point.

   The Olympics should have a separate boxing event for transgenders. They can hop in the ring and trade "blows."

   If you sit down too much ,do you understand ?

   buttcheeks one word or do you have to separate them?

   Memorizing pot hole locations is a must where I'm from.

   I still miss that part of 2020 when it was illegal for people to come near me

   Today I asked SIRI to recommend an apple product I can afford. She replied Apple Juice.

   The economy is so bad right now, I received a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

   Everyone picks their nose at some point, it's what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.

   This administration is going to be looked at as the worst administration in the history of the United States. The entire country is being laughed at, and it's been, complete embarrassment

   He’s on the second month of a rent free 4 year lease he’s taken out in your heads. Cry harder.

   So you guys all have matching Hamas scarves or what?

   Facts Don't Lie. In 2017, he inherited a 75-consecutive month of economic growth and destroyed it in 4 years time.

   Look at this little f*ggot trying to keep up 😂 Got bullied again at the local bar last night by real men who actually know how to please a woman? We own you now. You, are our b*tch LOL

   Hoes be looking for guys with the same initials as there x. So they don't have to edit they tattoos . Lol

   New goal: To go an entire day with seeing or hearing anything about Elon Musk.

   Home Schooling question: Does having your kid fix you mixed drinks count as chemistry?