Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Just a reminder: Walmart will be closed on Christmas Day so both cashiers can be with their families.

   Ew a lair

   Hip hop, flip-flop

   If ever you feel angry toward someone, take a deep breath, count to 10, and then throw a punch at 8. Nobody expects that.

   Robert Kraft fired Patriots coach Jerod Mayo. This was clearly condiment related.

   The right wing crashed the economy in 1929. The right wing crashed the economy in 2008. The right wing is crashing the economy in 2025. I'm sitting back and loving it. Burn baby burn.

   I think it is funny that Donald Trump will occupy the mind of this guy talking crap on him for four years. I think it is Joe Bidens grandson or could be Obama......

   Gaslight much? His lack of knowledge or care about this situation is ANOTHER scandal. This loser has zero clue what’s happening in his administration.

   Hey, m€ga sheep.... Check your 401s today? Bwahahahahaha!

   Four pair of solar eclipse glasses for sale. Just used for just a few minutes. 1/2 price. 😎

   To save time, let's just assume I'm never wrong.

   My doctor says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body helps prevent cellulite. Apparently, you can’t do it in Starbucks. And now the cops are here…..

   Don't worry if you lost money on crypto currency.. Just hoard baby formula and you'll make it all back

   My teacher told me "i think you have trouble comprehending words, so I said to her "i don't even know what that means"

   Kissing someone while they are asleep is one of the purest displays of love...unless you're in prison.

   Too bad, sooooo sad

   Overheard a lady saying she won't let her kid watch Peppa Pig because it encourages bad behavior like "jumping in puddles". I watched Road Runner as a kid and haven't blown anyone up with dynamite - yet.

   It's okay I can say ,f@gg0t I fck them

   He’s only on the second month and now France wants the Statue Of Liberty back LOL.

   It's so funny that we're annoying this one loser so much lmfao