Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   In a thousand or so years, archaeologists are going to dig up tanning beds and think we cooked people as punishment.

   People say that laughter is the best medicine…your face must be curing the world!

   With all the technology today, how is it possible that the "mullets make you look like a total tool" message has not made it to all people?

   Some people bite their tongue, I have to bite my fingers to keep from replying to some stupid reply.

   The only thing shocking about people on the red carpet now is when they touch something metal

   People who make their cars come to a complete halt on top of a railroad tracks to look both ways to see if a train is coming need to stop!....I mean go!

   The problem with quotes by famous people you see on Facebook is you never know if they're authentic or not. Albert Einstein,

   glad all they boyfriends and husbands and People are away

   I wonder if the people paying $300 for a colon cleanse even know about Taco Bell's $4.99 deal.

   getting married and then Divorced is like a Casino.... ..you go in all excited and optimistic, you stumble out broke, drunk and talking to yourself.

   Hundreds of thousands of people will protest tomorrow in 1,100 cities in all 50 states. Can't wait to watch from the comfort and safety of our awesome country 🥳

   He always bragged about his "large" crowds. Almost 5 million people turned out today across your sh*thole country. He finally has those great numbers he always wanted!!!!! I wonder how many of those people voted for him? HAHA

   It's Shark Week. Sharks kill an average of 5 people a year. Cows kill an average of 22 people a year. When is Cow Week

   And it's "hear", not "here". You maggot idiot. F*ck you people are so stupid

   Nah I'm going to let you guys figure that out for yourselves since you all seem like smart people. I'll be waiting so come and get me pussies!

   "You people are so stupid." ~ D. Trump

   Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life outta nowhere, makes your heart race and changes you forever. We call these people cops.

   Facebook should have notifications like: "Karen and Steven took your post personal. Do you want to unfriend those people?"

   Some mornings I just want to punch people in the face before they could even speak because I know they’ll definitely deserve it later in the day !!

   There's only like, 5 people here. 2 of us, Gary Koenig, and the fat crybaby cuck who take breaks between masturbating in between rounds of COD to count his "Magic" card collection and make boring Canuck posts. At least Gary and us are original, loser lol