Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Dear paranoid people who check behind the shower curtain for murderers: What exactly is the plan if you find one?

   Tr*mps faith advisor says if you give her $1,000 you'll get 'supernatural blessings'. You people actually support and believe this sh*t. You like getting conned. And this? Is why we make fun of you.

   Remember when we had to smack the TV because it wasn't working right? I feel that way about some people.

   We really are loving these stories of people who voted for him, who lost their jobs. And they go on the news, and they cry about it and they worry about their families. This, has been our favourite thing to watch. It personally gives me a raging hard-on.

   Imagine telling Denmark they "don't do enough" for people in Greenland, when BOTH countries HAVE universal healthcare AND YOURS DOESN'T 😂

   I've got people who love me because I'm me. I've got people who hate me for the same reason!

   If you play The Grinch backward, his heart shrinks after interacting with people and that’s a lot more accurate.

   I still miss that part of 2020 when it was illegal for people to come near me

   People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer per day.

   When I say, "I hate drama" I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people's drama? Big fan!!!

   A Karen just yelled at me in a parking lot that dressing up as a bum for Halloween is offensive to the homeless people. But I was just wearing my regular clothes.

   Every day is St. Patrick's Day when you're a drunk who likes to pinch people.

   "The woke mob' aka acknowledging that people different then you exist

   We would like to offer a heartfelt THANK YOU to the people of Greenland for not welcoming JD Vance and his hooker wife.

   The fact that Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to the Canadian people.

   Now that I've gotten older I've come to realize why Bigfoot stays away from people.

   The "worlds"? Wow. That's a lot of people. I believe there's over, 8 billion people on the planet now? HOW small is your world? I knew it. You live in a basement, and you never go outside. I F*CKING KNEW IT!!!! 😂 Aren't you tired of getting owned?

   Why do you people reply and engage in petty name calling with these anti Trumpers? You are in charge for at least the next 3 1/2 years. Enjoy it!!! Take joy in the fact that they wake up miserable every day. Don’t engage.

   Marginalized People refers to those who prefer margarine over butter.

   People aren't picking on Dump because he's autistic. People are picking on him because he's ret*rded. Big difference.