Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I WONDER HOW MANY VAMPIRES HAVE BEEN RUN OVER BY PEOPLE WHO BACKUP JUST USING THEIR MIRRORS.

   I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved

   I’ve been asked why I like dogs more than people. Short answer: My dog has never included me in a group text.

   "You people are so stupid." ~ D. Trump. (to all his fans)

   It's so strange to think before Facebook, all this nonsense just stayed in people's heads.

   It must be tough being born on April Fools' Day. You're never quite sure if people really mean it when they wish you 'Happy Birthday'.

   Imagine telling Denmark they "don't do enough" for people in Greenland, when BOTH countries don't have means of effectively defending themselves AND YOURS DOES😂

   Nothing owns Libs harder than day-drunk-texting top secret war plans to reporters. “Cry harder” posts coming in 3 2 1

   VANCE SHOULD GO TO GREENSBORO OR GREEN BAY TO SEE HOW MUCH TR*MP'S TARIFF TAX IS COSTING PEOPLE 😀

   Dr fauci told people on F*x to use vitamin A & cod liver oil to prevent or cure measles. Now kids still have measles but they took so much vitamin A, hospitals are treating kids with liver damage. Funny! 😀

   Democraps fought tooth and nail to stop people from handing out bottles of water while in line to vote, but now they are totally fine with a billionaire offering them money for votes?

   Little people gets paid under the table

   It’s bizarre how the party of 'inclusiveness' rejects 'Trumpers', straight people, or anyone who dares to think differently, and instead favors fetus killing and not deporting illegals.

   I'm not as mean as I could be. And I want people to be more grateful for that.

   Maybe the tubby no-life loooooser who lives in his parents basement and continually makes fun of GaryKoenig's status updates, should come up something original of their own. Instead of just attacking other people. You annonymous dumbf*ck.

   Why do people say, "Tuna fish sandwich"? Nobody says, "Chicken Bird Sandwich".

   I don't get how people afford life without a job??? I can't even afford it with a job.

   If Those "why does the military only get one day people" actually cared they'd mention it any other month otherthen pride

   When I see people jogging outside I like to drive behind them slowly blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for motivation.

   To all the people that couldn't stand me this year, just letting you know next year is going to be even worse.