Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   My grandmother once told me, "Sometimes you have to hug the people you don't like. That way you'll know how big to dig the hole in the back yard".

   But... Crazy people have more fun.

   Guys, if the relationship fails, don't blame her only. It takes 2 people to mess up a relationship. Blame her and her mother.

   Why do you people reply and engage in petty name calling with these anti Trumpers? Because we're proving that you're all just a bunch of f*cking sheep and in a cult 🤡 and you're just starting to realize it.

   You might not like Koenigs posts but he’s the only one here using the page as intended now. It’s 99.9% triggered crap now. Get a life people.

   f Oxygen was discovered in 1772.... what did people breathe before then?

   They say "the machines of the future" will be as smart as people. Okay, but which people? Because that makes a huge difference.

   Facebook keeps notifying me about people's birthdays like I bake cakes or something.

   People cheating on their taxes disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 23 dependants in.

   People cheating on their taxes disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.

   When you die people cry and beg for you to come back. But when you do, there's the running and the screaming.

   I hate it when people text me: "Call me". I'm gonna start calling people and when they answer, I'm gonna say, "Text me", and hang up.

   why do people spend all day at work talking about going to the bar, then spend all night at the bar talking about work?

   Now that I've gotten older, I've come to realize why Bigfoot stays away from people.

   I think people on the road nowadays must know that I have psychic abilities able to read they're minds, especially when they don't use their blinkers.

   My boss asked me who was stupid, me or him. I told him that we all know he doesn't employ stupid people.

   Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.

   Q. What individual did the biggest favor ever for two people? A. The one who stood up when the minister said, 'Speak now, or forever hold your peace.'

   How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like u” Me: with the fan on high

   I need to watch it as I've started having road rage behind the wheel. But sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at the grocery store.