Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   This is what I hate the most. Every single morning for the next four years I, along with hundreds of millions of people around the world, have to wake up fingers crossed to see if he's dead yet.

   BREAKING NEWS: DONALD T DRAWS MASSIVE CROWDS ------ of people who hate his f*cking guts 🤡

   People say that laughter is the best medicine…your face must be curing the world

   People's driving skills got me looking both ways at green lights!

   n't it funny how sharks can smell blood, dogs can smell drugs - but some people can't smell themselves when they need deodorant?

   Pro tip: Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write "sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield.

   Felon47 lost three huge rulings yesterday. 24,000 federal workers return to work in 18 different agencies; The reinstatement of the USAID; trans people can serve in the military..... What a loser hahahahaha

   Why did God create economists? Because he didn't want meterorologists to be the only people wrong all the time.

   I don't understand the Indian people. They win spelling bees, but can't keep a plane in the air.

   Where's the "cheaper groceries and gas" people who trolled lefties online for years about fixing the economy? Where are all the “know it all” neckbeard dads and blond haired moms who voted for him? These losers seemed to have allllllllll disappeared..

   Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them.

   True or False: The people who are the most delusional about how great they think their state is are from New Jersey.

   There's no profit in healthy people.

   Dear people who are praying for the California wildfires... it's not working.

   Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

   People who stroke themselves to Donald Trump every day and brag because he won, don't realize that they have lost so much. They're going to realize it soon enough. I laugh at them, and spit on their flag lolz

   The biggest mistake people make in a relationship is giving their heart to someone who needs a brain.

   Companies need to stop making employees feel guilty for taking vacation days and time off just because they failed to hire a sufficient amount of people.

   I didn't even know what to buy people for Christmas until I heard about these exploding pagers and walki-talkies.

   The tariffs don’t really affect me, as I spend most of my days at the park throwing wood chips at people