Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People who worry about what kind of planet we're leaving for our kids might want to consider what kind of kids we're leaving for our planet.

   What I've learned from many years of driving: People who drive faster than me are obnoxious and people who drive slower than me are stupid.

   IMAGINE - AN ENTIRE COUNTRY SO IGNORANT THAT THE PEOPLE WILFULLY GIVE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN ORDER TO ELECT RICH CRIMINALS TO RULE OVER THEIR LIVES AND STEAL THEIR MONEY, BUT BELIEVE THEY ARE FREE. Lmfao

   Some people exercise every day. I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.

   Stop trying to please people who don't like you and embrace the joy of being the most annoying person they've ever met.

   This is what I hate the most. Every single morning for the next four years I, along with hundreds of millions of people around the world, have to wake up fingers crossed to see if he's dead yet.

   BREAKING NEWS: DONALD T DRAWS MASSIVE CROWDS ------ of people who hate his f*cking guts 🤡

   People say that laughter is the best medicine…your face must be curing the world

   People's driving skills got me looking both ways at green lights!

   n't it funny how sharks can smell blood, dogs can smell drugs - but some people can't smell themselves when they need deodorant?

   Pro tip: Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write "sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield.

   Felon47 lost three huge rulings yesterday. 24,000 federal workers return to work in 18 different agencies; The reinstatement of the USAID; trans people can serve in the military..... What a loser hahahahaha

   Why did God create economists? Because he didn't want meterorologists to be the only people wrong all the time.

   I don't understand the Indian people. They win spelling bees, but can't keep a plane in the air.

   Where's the "cheaper groceries and gas" people who trolled lefties online for years about fixing the economy? Where are all the “know it all” neckbeard dads and blond haired moms who voted for him? These losers seemed to have allllllllll disappeared..

   Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them.

   True or False: The people who are the most delusional about how great they think their state is are from New Jersey.

   There's no profit in healthy people.

   Dear people who are praying for the California wildfires... it's not working.

   Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.