Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

   When people dressed like witches, strippers and hobos show up at my front door it must be Halloween because my family reunion was in July. 🤔

   A group of 25 people all huddled yelling You're a sheep as I walk into the store and put my mask on. And ask me for a beer as I walk out. Baaaah NOPE!

   How did people know when Edison got the idea for the lightbulb? If it didn't exist yet, you wouldn't see a lightbulb above him that he just had an idea

   Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. You're actually still defending him! You people really are f*cking nuts.

   Last year, every other message here was attacking Biden and praising Trump. Now, almost every single one of those people are gone. Because they finally realize what a loser Donald is lol.

   If the "Why does the lgbt get a month, but veterans get a day" people actually cared for the military theyd know the military gets multiple days and months, also they would mention "why does the military get one day"? during any other month

   Some people eat bananas for the shape and it shows

   When you have absolutely nothing to smile about, do it anyway. It pisses people off!!

   I drove to town today to pick up my replacement glasses , you wouldn't Believe the people I ran into .....

   Jim Morrison was right. People are strange.

   I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October. I call it my jingle bell rock.

   IMAGINE CHEERING ON PEOPLE IN POWER WHO ARE ACTIVELY TARGETING AND HARMING THE HUNGRY, THE POOR, THE SICK, THE ELDERLY, THE VETERAN, THE DISABLED, THE DIFFERENT, AND THE STRANGER AND STILL SOMEHOW EXPECTING PEOPLE TO BELIEVE YOU FOLLOW JESUS. GMAFB

   I have a problem with gingerbread people living in houses made of their flesh, but I promised not to bring it up again and ruin Christmas again this year.

   I'm not in favor of anyone destroying other people's property. But I have to say I love seeing a lot less Tesla Cybertrucks on the road.

   Why does the Old Testament prohibit people from eating pork? Pigs are such friendly looking animals. It's goats that look like the spawn of Satan.

   Dancing: The musical activity for people who can't play an instrument.

   Do people actually believe in their ridiculous conspiracy theories, or are they just trolling?

   Most people want a perfect relationship. I just want a hamburger that looks like the one on the menu.

   Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.