Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Each year I get invited to go on vacation with the same group of annoying people but I can’t say no because they’re my husband & children.

   It amazing how much people LeBron James has triggered for his common sense views. I wish I had his talents.

   Screw an edit button I want people to know immediately when I block them

   I know there are idiot Savants, but are there Savant idiots ?.. Cause lately stupid people sure do think they are smart !

   Putin is like that angry drunk guy at a party. Everyone is trying to calm him down but he's convinced he needs to fight someone.

   The number of people who confuse ”to” and ”too” is amazing two me.

   Some people say I'm missing a few screws. Truth is I lost the whole toolbox.

   Dear scammers, please stop flirting with all the people on their Facebook pages. We are all beautiful and charming and we do not want to be your friend. You are annoying!

   If you don’t want people asking for rides again, say yes the first time but don’t show up. works everytime.

   what did people do with their wet phones before rice was invented

   Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

   The world is getting too sensitive. Soon I won't be able to make fun of myself without people getting offended.

   It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Joe B is an example.

   Why don't people who drive under the speed limit get ticketed like people who drive over the limit? It says "limit"

   Why aren't people on the "Truth Social" forum these days??? Are people turned off from the word "Truth"?

   Think I have more human interaction with people on Craigslist that I do on social media sites.

   For everyone out there struggling with self-worth, just know that there are people out there that care. It sure as hell isn't me, but someone does.

   I think my wife is hallucinating..... She keeps telling me she's seeing other people

   Remember when we woke up in the morning and the economy was stable, we didn’t deport the wrong people and the world respected us? Yeah, I miss those days too.

   The only people who don't want the Redkins to go back to being called the Redskins are ghey sissies who don't watch the game in the first place.