Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Let's tell people what to do with their lives and ignore our own problems.

   How do some people manage to get their plastic smiles & fake laughters glued to their faces for so long? #Apologies to plastics & glues

   A home invasion but it's just you staggering in drunk at 4AM because you can't find your keys

   people are so stupid now a days....I am now describing myself as having uncommon sense

   worried that Santa won't bring any gifts for dirty minded people. I'm screwed. Haha, screwed.

   I think they should leagalize p0t for teachers.. Think about it.. It eliminates them drinkin on the job.. It would make classes a lot more interesting, and people may actually wana stay in school.

   I swear people don't know how long the things they say can stay in someone's head.

   Watching a good movie but doesn't know why people put sex on DVDs

   If the address on your id and the address where you live are one and the same then you ain't my type of people

   I always knew those people signing at major events were just fakes!!!

   people say "when pigs fly" but dont police have police helicopters...pigs are already flying

   Walking with 3 people on the sidewalk, and ending up in the back behind them.

   not many people know that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on. His name was FrankEinstein

   What the Health Care Reform really means: OLD PEOPLE MAGAZINES IN THE DOCTORS OFFICE -- This can't be good!

   ..thinks some people here have the mentality of a retarded turtle. But it's nice to see that monkeys can actually type these days. I knew that £2 a month I was donating towards the RSPCA would come to some good. Keyboard monkeys. Who'da thunk it?

   If sex between 3 people is called 3some, between two people is called twosome. why is Handsome still a compliment?

   says if people are scared of the number 13, why are we not scared of BoB, he has 2 scrunched up 13s in his name.

   W hite people will do any stupid thing they are told to do over the intercom at a sporting event.

   There's a photographer traveling around the world taking pictures of the worlds oldest people. Isn't Larry King on television?

   There are just some people who shouldn't exist and if they are going to be allowed to exist then they should be Taxed extra for all the precious air they use!