Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Merry Drunk I'm Christmas

   You don't have to agree with me to be my friend. I don't have to agree with you to like you. I like good sensible people and if you are good people with common sense, I like you!

   Yes, I said I love you, but I meant it in the drunk kind of way.

   People are quick to blame the devil for everything that goes bad in their lives. Even people who fail an exam they did not adequately prepare for will blame it all on the devil.

   I hope Apple is coming out with an iCondom because of all the iSex people will be having once the iWatch comes out.

   I swear, what is wrong with people? Supporters are burning their MAGA hat's because Trump did the right thing and protected the dreamers? Wow!

   Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? “Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel.”

   People don't want their problems fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their Distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the BIG scary unknown

   The year I was voted sexiest man alive by People Magazine was the greatest time in my life. Now? It just gets me beat up in bars

   I hate to admit it, but Trump is no good at being President. He can't do a simple task of uniting the people together.

   I have not seen anyone mad about the mermaid being black . Except the people that want to people mad ... stopped getting Jussie Smolette its all in your mind

   Why, when you suddenly start coughing your head off, do people say "Are you alright?" Hell no I'm not alright! If I was, I wouldn't be coughing like this. Duh.

   Just a reminder: it reads WE THE PEOPLE. We’re all in this together as HUMANS. Doesn’t mean we own this planet as a religion or race.

   wow, just heard on the news that all gulliable people that use facebook are going to be charged $17.95 a month to have their photos on facebook!!

   Sometimes I intentionally p0st boring statuses just to tick people off. Like I am doing now.

   I wonder if we're "homed people" to them...

   Why can't you people get it? The protest of not standing for the national anthem will end when you people learn equality and freedom for all races.

   Religion is only for frighten children to obey old people.

   Look, I am fed up with the gays demanding and ordering what they want. You are sick People. You have an Illness that needs a cure. Stop badgering the Normal people because you feel you need to express your sickness.

   Did you ever notice when you push old people down the stairs they scramble to grab the railings???