Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   When French people swear, do they say excuse my English?

   People are strange? Last night the bloke in the next toilet stall to me started playing with himself? It put me right off my sandwich!

   Some of you are funny,some poetic,some angry,some horny,some drunk,some in love,some lonely,some crazy,some too-good-to-be-true. I <3 you all.

   Edward isn't a vampire, he lives in the forest, he doesn't eat people, and he sparkles..Dat fool is obviously a fairy a$$.

   how many people telling dominican jokes does it takes to change a bulb?

   Lol ......Prescription drugs are killing everybody not street drugs wake up people

   thinks drunk driving would be cut in half if people didn't do borderline gay sh*t to you when ur passed out.

   thinks drunk driving would be cut in half if people didn't do borderline gay sh*t to you when ur passed out.

   When the Beatles said they were "bigger than Jesus" they were right. 'Cause people were way shorter back then in Jesus times

   Rent prices have got people staying in relationships that ended years ago

   DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people

   Sometimes the best people to spill your heart to are total strangers. I love you guys.

   Facebook...making people argue about their posts/photos since 2004...

   I seem to spend a lot more time pooping than most people. So my question is, what’s wrong with y’all??

   All you people with hair think you're so damn superior!!

   One day there's gonna be a huge memorial dedicated to the people who sacrificed their lives to sit at a computer for the majority of their existence

   just realised why my day has been full of people unable to express what they want, failing to consider anyone other than themselves and with unrealistic expectations. Happy International Women’s Day everyone.

   Be generous with time! Use as much of it as you can by telling people to get the f cuk out of your face!

   Don’t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex’s name tattooed.

   You're like the abacus of people. No one counts on you anymore.