Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   you are all small minded people here!

   I hope in 2013 people stop taking photos or videos with a 0.2 Megapixel potato

   What's the best poison for rats and people who reP0st sh!t??

   so smart she makes smart people feel retarded.

   Herman Cain justifying being accused of sexually assaulting 4 women is like a drunk defnding 4 DUIs

   People point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

   My baby is always one year old because I welcome people's we-ird question about his age with my middle finger.

   The phrase ‘you need Jesus’ was made when two drunk people were sitting in front of a pool and one said “imagine if this was a pool of wine”

   Single people have 6 priorities: 1) Convince yourself you're happy. 2) Convince your girl or boyfriend you're happy. 3) Convince friends you're happy. 4) Convince workmates you’re happy 5) Convince relatives you’re happy 6) Convince neighbors you’re

   I love it when people knocks on my door. It gives me an excuse to use my guns.

   I hate it when people say "listen" before telling you something.

   You know what my problem is?! People telling me what my problem is.

   a cop just knocked on my door and told me my dog was chasing people on bike, My dog doesnt own a bike

   I love when people hurt your feelings on purpose.. Then yell j/k as they walk away...

   Funny all those people that love Prince and don't mind his drug abuse probably complained about Lance Armstrong

   I would gladly believe in a religion that gives me free pizza and says people who squeeze the toothpaste tube from the centre go to hell.

   Michael Jackson has been dead a long time but moonwalking still makes people uncomfortable at children's parties.

   one thing's for sure, all those people that always bash atheists won't even bother going to church today

   Just been accused of being condescending , that's where you talk down to people.

   People these days will do and say anything to divert attention from their own pathetic lives.