Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

   People would be a lot less angry if they just put more butter on everything.

   Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll try to use it.

   Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.

   I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

   Some people need to avoid touching two faces.

   When people ask, “Do you have a bathroom?” No, we pee in the yard.

   “Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give some people.

   I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.

   If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.

   Sometimes I wonder if all this is happening because I didn’t forward that e-mail to ten people.

   Listen to people when they are angry, because that is when the truth comes out.

   People who don't swear haven't had the right food and sex.

   Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

   Travel and tell no one. Live a true love story and tell no one. Live happily and tell no one. People ruin beautiful things.

   Monkeypox & the 11 people who still believe the media.

   The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.

   We don’t hear much about people from the Left being allowed back on Twitter. Why? Because blacklisting has been deployed as a one-way operation against the Right.

   Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

   Adult videos gives young people an unrealistic idea of how fast a plumber will come to your house.