Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   There's no feeling in the world like when two people want each other so bad... to die.

   Anyone can sell things people eat. The Bay leaf salesman is a true salesman!!

   I would love to send so many people on One-way trip to Mars.

   Angels are just dead people who drink Red Bull.

   I want to become a social media terrorist and take down facebook, myspace, twitter, and instagram. 95% of the people in this country would be in shambles and actually have to interact with real people again...

   Sometimes You have to realize that ......( some people can stay in your HEART without being in your LIFE ) ......

   Cop: Sir, did you know that one of your tail lights is burned out? Me: Well......I certainly wouldn't be driving drunk in front of a cop, now would I?! I'll get that fixed right away.......Thanks

   Trump: I love making people who already hate me hate me more.

   You always know when random, clean, friendly people come talk to you in the street it's because they want you to join their religion.

   Alzheimer's can't be all bad. You get to meet new people every day

   I will not listen to people who burst my bubble because they are always negative. But I will listen to people who I know have my best interests at heart even if they burst my bubble.

   can't stand people who say "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

   Sometimes when I'm bored I take red and blue M&Ms and walk up to random people...And try too convince them that one of them will get'em out the Matrix.....

   Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in company fridge. Today I had a prawn sandwich named Kevin.

   Hey people going to church, the gym or eating plants; Please keep it to yourself and stop telling us about it all the time.

   ↖↖↖↖↖↖↖↑↗↗↗ ↗↗ ↗ ←←Fake people everywhere→→ ↙↙↙↙↙↙↙↓↘↘↘ ↘ ↘ ↘

   There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count & those who can't.

   When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him. That's more my speed.

   Silly Balloon Boy Dad. The only way you can get away with lying to the American people and toying with their emotions is to be a politician.

   Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.