Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   just asked a group of people for a lighter. They thought she was homeless, asking for money. She's wearing false lashes. When was the last time you saw a homeless person with false lashes?

   Finger prick tests are being developed to test people for radiation in the wake of the Japan disaster. Apparently if the person's blood comes out glowing fluorescent green, there might be a problem.

   can’t stop thinking about people that first ate mushrooms they found and just had to go through trial and error of like, this one tastes like beef, this one killed Brian immediately and this one makes you see God for a week

   Do you know is not for some people smoking Marijuana the murder rate would be a lot higher than it is.. So get high and keep the murder rate low. . .

   I wish people would stop phoning while I'm ironing. I keep burning my face.

   More people saw Grown Ups 2 than Pacific Rim. This, plus the verdict, sums up America.

   I wonder if sharks have people week.

   Both George Zimmermans parents are hispan!c but he's wh!te, Obama's mother is wh!te but he's bl@ck-------Bl@ck people

   It was a Hoax, Now ugly, homely, disfigured people may return to eatting at KFC !!!

   We need a "stable genius" that understands you can call news and people fake but you can't call a virus fake. This fake virus has wiped out more than 50% of the three years of market gains in two weeks. Who you gonna call? Obama busters....

   Other countries would fear us more if, instead of a nickname for a holding cell, the "Drunk Tank" were an actual weapon.

   6 out of 10 people wash their hands after using the bathroom, 4 out 10 use soap, 3 out of 10 actually wait for the water to get hot also.

   wonders if the fake Irish accents on the Irish Spring commercials can sound anymore bogus , I've met a lot of people from Ireland and NONE of hem talked like that

   I feel like a ninja when I wish people happy birthday on Facebook at 12:01am

   Who ever came up with the idea of oxygen bars is a genius! Getting rich by charging people to breath? Awesome!

   If you're one of those people that talk about your "haters," odds are I hate you too..

   This is from a greedy single, " Based on intelligence, people are classified into: 1- Genius 2- Smart 3- Average 4- stupid 5- Married. "

   People who like their jobs probably don't think oral sex is necessary either.

   People who call you after you text them are the worst human beings since like Hitler.

   People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.............................Benjamin Franklin