Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I wonder where rich Swiss people hide their money...

   The best thing about social media is that you can talk to people without having to put your pants on.

   TODAY'S GOSPEL: The best way to get along with people is to not expect them to be like you.

   WARNING! if you get a mail where it says "go to hell", DON'T do it!! It's a fake mail! It's really hot down there and people are pissed

   Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life.

   I can't stand people who blame everyone else for their problems. I'd be successful and happy by now if it wasn't for them

   Just poked about 20 people in about 20 sec's flat... Whew... Blows on finger....

   People keep saying how strong stomach acid is but I am pretty convinced that corn can kick it's butt.

   If Pluto is a dwarf planet and not a real planet, are dwarf people not real people?

   AHHHH-CHOO!!!........٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶....If you are allergic to bullcrap, drama queens, head games, liars, two-faced fake people, keep this sneeze going.....

   Fat people are harder to kidnap.

   Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? I hate that.. Anyway, I'll cut this short cause,, I gotta go poop.

   I don't understand why people don't see the beauty in asthma attacks, Personally, I find them breathtaking.

   I would like to make a Facebook page called "Deez Nuts," just to see how many people LIKE Deez Nuts...

   I love to stand in line at ATM machines, and when people put in their PIN, I yell "GOT IT" then run away!!!

   I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

   Men, if you've been called a$$h0le by 3 or more people, you're an a$$h0le.

   If you don't think this quarantine has changed people, I just want to point out that it turned Jake from State Farm black...

   LOL!!!! we need more post like the mirror one, your slacking here people!

   I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?