Drunk people Funny Status Messages
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Me laughing: I don't drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
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02-28-2016 03:00
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how do people on game of thrones keep addressing multitudes without the aid of a microphone?
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05-30-2016 15:03
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Airbnb weirds me out a bit. As a kid, people are like "Don't talk to strangers", but as an adult you're paying to be in their house.
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06-14-2016 17:45
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Interesting what people will do for money. Noteworthy what I'll do for free beer.
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04-05-2013 13:11
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There are two different kind of people in the world, "born" ones and "made" ones.
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05-27-2013 01:40 by MattOhio
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With the coronavirus I imagine they'll be a lot people staying home for Saint Patrick's Day, like a lot of Irish people normally do on I wannabe Irish night.
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03-17-2020 10:46
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I judge people based on their email address.
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03-30-2020 10:12
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Toxic people be like “Enjoy your day” after they just ruined it
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04-23-2020 21:25
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Trying to figure how I know people from their profile picture is making excepting friendships harder and harder with all these masks.
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05-03-2020 17:15 by Moon
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Why do people get angry when you say F you, or give them the finger ? But not when you say srrew you or up yours ? Don't they all mean the same thing ?

Had an absolutely amazing dream last night I feel could change mine and quite possibly millions of other people's lifes forever! if I could just remember what it was about?
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02-24-2019 10:26
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If evolution were real you'd think my body would've learned how to be drunk on its own by now.
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09-01-2016 01:38
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Self driving cars are never gonna catch on because of people like this guy who just turned left across 4 lanes of traffic
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02-26-2018 14:31
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I just started a club for people who hate people. I’m the only member. No you can’t join because I hate you.

For all the lazy people Heinz has come out with Mayochup to put on your burgers. It's ketchup and mayonnaise in one squeeze bottle.
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04-18-2018 20:19
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There is a fine line between confidence, and arrogance. I walk that line when I'm drunk, swaying from side to side.
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07-04-2013 10:18
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It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy.
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07-12-2013 01:15
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i hate it when people say two wrongs don't make a right. A right and a wrong don't make a right either.
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12-31-2012 02:24
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Guys, I heard this crazy myth that there are people who don't hate themselves after every meal. Is this true?
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02-05-2013 08:37
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Do the people on Take Me Out actually maintain a relationship?
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01-16-2011 12:55
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