Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't

   Don't you people see.... these dummy-crats are trying to peece us off. Lets show them we are bigger than that, and they need a job.

   confuse why Mr R had to bring out the solider card on the site because people complaining bout FB my bro law over in Iraq complaining about the new FB shut the eff up haha

   When life hands you lemons. Freeze them until they're rock solid and throw them at people you don't like. . .

   *looks at calendar*.. *looks at stomach*. *looks at calendar*.. Guess I'm telling people I'm pregnant again this Christmas.

   Why is it that a lot of the people who think everyone is too easily offended these days act like you just insulted their mother by saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"?

   "At least Trump is entertaining." - people who entertain themselves by pulling the wings off of butterflies

   ASome people actually believe that the only thing their tax dollars go to is food stamps. Bahahahahah

   I think it's actually statistically something like 113% of people over-exaggerate.

   would like to take all of the warning labels off everything toxic and weed out the stupid people in my life

   If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look similar to this: 57 Asians; 21 Europeans; 14 from the Western Hemisphere; 8 Africans; 52 would be female;

   You know it's a bad traffic jam when people start are sitting on top of their cars..

   Those people that put up Halloween decorations way too early deserve it when they blow away in the wind today.

   I have come to the conclusion that you can post almost anything on Facebook and most people will automatically assume it to be factual. The odds of this are increased if the post is witty and is accompanied by a cute picture.

   Buses are just limos for poor people.

   I'm a much better person than Mitt Romney. I only believe 30% of people are entitled freeloaders.

   People don't love you just for who you are, but how you make them feel.

   "I eat what I want and never get fat" - people I hate

   says Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back!

   I've seen as many smart people today as Stevie Wonder has.