Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People that think they know you better than you know yourself, is the reason why throat punching was invented

   Most people don't know this, but the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they lost their damn minds

   Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?

   There are an alarming amount of people getting engaged or married on my Facebook recently. Got my brain ticking with how much thought and planning they must have put into it. I don't even know what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow let alone get married

   I don't like talking to people I know, but strangers I have no problem with.

   I think I am safe if I commit a crime that goes to trial cause no way they'll find 12 people to sit on a jury as my peers

   Spice things up during family dinners this holiday season by slamming your wine glass down and demanding "What do you people want from me!?"

   American people are not evil people. If given the right information they will do the right thing. The problem lies with their lack of information/incorrect information. Robbin - I concur

   Don't you hate people who throws their own son under the bus?

   Its funny how some people treat their relationship like a brand, complete with a pitch, advertising campaign and an audience.

   I saw 2 people lost in front of the Garmin Store

   someone accused me of being patronizing! that means I treat people like their stupid.

   I always watch the credits at the end of a movie just to see if there's a chance I got drunk and stumbled onto the set.

   "I'm still writing 2012 on all my Czechs." -Guy who likes writing on people from Central Europe

   95% of People who say, "Study! Study! Study!" during finals week are actually reading...Too bad they don't realize Facebook is not actually a book.....

   Better to have people think you are an idiot then opening your mouth and proving them right

   dressing as pac-man and chasing people in burka's.

   "We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage."

   What goes around comes around. That's what people say. So all the pain you caused me will come back to you someday.

   Judging people by their race and sex is wrong. I wish you priveledged white men would get that!