Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Well that was a weird phone call. Who in the hell calls people at random and makes farting noises, laughs then hangs up? Wait a minute, I think I used to do that years ago ... maybe not so weird after all.

   you cant beat the stupid out of people but sometimes its funy to try.

   Since saying "Happy New Year" doesn't seem to give people much luck, she's going to say "Have a bad New Year" and turn thier luck around!

   I feel so bad for people who have $500,000,000. They can only call themselves millionaires, and yet they're still so far away from being billionaires.

   All these smiling Alabama football fans you would think Today is Toothless people appreciation day in Alabama

   Sometimes just thinking of two fat people with really huge stomachs trying to hug each other is enough to make my day.

   You know its tax season when people start posting pictures of their rent money

   It takes a 75% vote to be inducted to the Hall of Fame but only 9 people to decide for 500 million Americans ... Hmmmm

   Please put this on your status if you know, or are related to, someone killed on the Death Star. People must understand that the Rebel Alliance is a band of murdering scum. The Empire wants only to bring peace to the galaxy but these rebels continue to ki

   How many BBQ's do I have to get drunk at to prove I love Australia???

   when your sitting at redlight, surrounded by people. Do you toss your McD's bag, old paper work and junk mail out the window? No?..then why the hell do you flick your half smoked cig out, like its acceptable behavior?! You jagoffs!!

   all alone on christmas so why not get drunk ? Beers in the fridge !

   AC/DC concerts are where old people like to get together and show off their jean jackets.

   **News Flash** The real NFL refs will be back on the field tonight for the Browns/Ravens game. In other news, Footlocker hired a bunch of people and are now fully staffed again.

   There is a name for people without beards.... Women!

   "By leaving your bed, your chances of dying increases by 99%. It's science; " specially when you stalk people.

   Just unfriended 3 people for chatting under my status.

   Hey Karma, I got a list of people you missed."

   I carry a diaper with me so I can hold it up and shout "excuse me, you dropped your adult diaper" when people cut in line.

   Few people alive can resist the temptation to look at the tissue after they sneeze, even fewer after they wipe.