Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   FACEBOOK: Where dramatic people post about "drama" thus creating more of it.

   thinks more people would take Sara Palin seriously if she lowered the tonal quality of her voice. Ow, my freakin' ears!!

   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

   There 10 types of people in the world, the ones who understand Binary and ones who don't

   Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane, and a "Where in the hell am I?" lane.

   Today is another dsy where people get religious om Facebook but live like heathens most all the other time...

   I'm confused at why people need to be told how to lose weight. Is it really that confusing?? Quit shoving so much food down your throat....the end!!!

   Wouldn't you think that lego people give the perfect hand jobs!?!?!

   Supreme Court rules Arizona police may not stop people they believe are illegal immigrants, but must stop Juggalos.

   as a true sports fan, and not picking sides the performance of the USA Women's Soccer Team is a BIG STFU to the all the male chauvinist people out there who don't like women's sports

   All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

   My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !

   off to the printer to have my new t-shirts made. I've got, “I beat anorexia” shirts to sell to fat people and, “I beat obesity” shirts to sell to skinny people.

   Dear people that still clip your phone to your belt.......stop.

   I hate arrogant people who think no one but themselves.They're like criminals.

   Let's kill people that disagree with our beliefs. - said no atheist ever

   received a warning that aliens are abducting all of the sexy people in the world! Don't panic, you are safe! I am just writing to say goodbye!

   The crappy thing is,,, there are people that will vote for Trump,,, but would punish their kids for just saying the word "Pu$$y".

   You people can keep blaming your weight/waist or tight fitting clothes on the holidays if you want, but I am not going to lie to myself or others. I was fat in August!

   'If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?