Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   knows a lot of people that will corner the market on coal this Christmas

   There are 2 types of people on Facebook: those who have a way with words, and the others, who, don't... not... have... way.

   wonders why people only see ghosts at night? Probably for the same reason nobody sees UFO's in the city

   People need to pay up..im not a money tree, and I dont work for free.

   You know those camp grounds where you have to pay to sleep outside? I wonder if those are offensive to homeless people??

   I see dumb people.

   I think the american people should be allowed to show the BP executives and some of these clowns in our government just what a true "JUNK SHOT" is

   People laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they're al the same

   Why do people ask, "Do you have a cell phone?" You might as well be asking them if I have a pulse.

   Everything I ever needed to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.

   I'm not a drunk. I just play one under the TV.

   Mr. Officer, I am not drunk. You are just witnessing sobriety that hasn't returned yet.

   Saw a picture of me at the costume store. Unfortunately its called the lonely, horny and drunk costume

   Power to the people who have freedom in their focus..

   In the 1960's, people took acid to make the world weird... Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

   always do right.this will gratify some people and astonish the rest

   I was so drunk last night , I went to bed with Bo Derek and woke up with Bo Diddley

   I drink to make other people interesting...

   I enjoy working out at the gym. It helps me to know that other people are suffering with me!

   Some people were born just to take up space like the first slice of bread in a loaf.