Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I really hate people who breathe too hard... I can hear you breathing and that is a problem.

   5 out of 6 people really enjoy Russian roulette.

   Between James Holmes, the Penn State case, and the Penn State fans... there's just a lot of sick people in the world. Trust no one!!

   Your soulmate is out there. Crying in their car, listening to 90s rap while you waste your life with people you don't even like.

   People who say you can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

   I listen better to people when they make sense... or better yet... Dollars...

   They say every birth is a miracle of God but after watching these people at Walmart they would probably become atheist.

   thinks people should stop dreaming about Happily Ever After and be Happy Just Now. Forever ~ ✿ ♬ ☮

   I was wrapping Christmas presents for various people;17 to be exact. It wasn't until I placed the last present on top of the stack that I realized I didn't put gift tags on any of them. FML

   A penny for my thoughts? Oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar. There worth so much more after I'm a goner and maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin, funny when your dead how people start listenen

   And here's another question I would love all you pro abortion people to answer, if a fetus is not a human life as you contend, how the hell does planned parenthood harvest and sell human organs from one?

   Someone should tell all the police officers, teachers, firefighters and military people that apparently the *real* heroes are gays that go public.

   I’m afraid of a world run by people who were never spanked as a kid and given a trophy just for participating.

   Whoa, this weather is bringing out everything.. Theirs some old people out driving right now and don't even know it..

   I hate when people text me.."Hey Stranger? How are you?" Clearly I'm not a stranger if you have my cell phone #!

   What are people asking Meatloaf to do 'for love'?

   People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucked yesterday, it’s probably still going to suck today in 2015...

   If people are against war get Michael Moore to say something so outrageous they will support it again.

   The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies,probably because generally they are the same people!

   When you are dead, you don't know you are dead but other people do. It's the same when you are stupid.