Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People will stop making small talk with you if you simply wear clown makeup whenever you're out in public.

   Fun thing to do #26: Stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.

   People are really judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

   I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.

   I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching 'Night at the Roxbury.' "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"

   Besides the fact that random people are bursting into flames walking down the street, It's beautiful outside!

   I don't know why people say something is better if you work for it. Personally, I love being handed awesome sh*t through no effort of my own.

   Dear news people, stop trying to pronounce Eyjafjallajokull, you are all sounding like idiots, just call it The Volcano, is way easier...

   Why do people insist on speaking to me? It pretty much never goes well.

   I truly wonder how much better life would be if people were required to fill out a CAPTCHA before breeding.

   some people come to Facebook just to air out their "dirty laundry", others just don't know how to clean it.

   If this phone were really smart, it wouldn't let certain people call me.

   Some people, even in photos, just look like they'll smell.

   Did any bad guy in Scooby Doo actually commit a crime? I'm pretty sure wearing a silly mask and scaring people isn't illegal.

   Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?"

   heard that people who talk to themselves tend to be extremely smart. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that.

   People say I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).

   I love it when people call me at 3 AM. "Hey, are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving."

   You'd be surprised how people get the words "f*ck off" confused with "please continue."

   So 78,000 people applied for a one way trip to Mars huh? Hopefully they were all members of congress...