Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Dear Justin Bieber, Just because you have money...doesn't mean that you're mature. Grow up, smarten up, or shut the hell up! Thanks, People

   people who have to say "i was being sarcastic" should stop trying to be something they are not good at.

   Have you tried just avoiding people?

   People at airports must not workout much because they are all using these treadmills wrong...

   some people build walls to see who cares enough to bring them down, others build walls because they’re in the construction industry.

   the 60's Batman and Robin were the brave pioneers of tight spandex pants ... blazing the brave trail for what would become the new and trendy fashion adopted by today's people of WalMart. Thanx Batman and Robin

   I hate when people take my glasses and say "Wow you can't really see." No way, I don't take a random person's wheelchair and say "Wow you really can't walk."

   Those girls who give you a hug just because you know one of their friends. Heaven was made for people like you.

   I didn't get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.

   I love ruining the plot of Dorian Gray for people. Never gets old.

   I don't understand people who say the moon landings were fake? I mean what did the government spend the 24 billion dollars on? To pay hundreds of thousands of people working on the Apollo program to sit around and play checkers?

   Apparently 2016 is the year every amusement park ride was set to expire and fall apart mid-ride with people on it.

   People tend to have two reasons for doing a thing; one that sounds good and a real one.

   People who always say "love is blind" need to be reminded that Stevie Wonder is divorcing his wife

   I accidentally posted a rhetorical question on Facebook,,, Now I'm banging my head against the wall,, but on the bright side, I have a growing list of people to hide my posts from

   some people need to learn proper "Jump Off" ettiquetts.

   being a politician is like being a hooker. You can't be one unless you can pretend to like people while you're f'ing them."

   Hmmm, we didn't have all this craziness when people were allowed to smoke anywhere.......

   A belated congrats to the Sham Wow people for having the balls to sell a product on TV with the word "sham" in the name.

   Instead of milk cartons they should put photos of missing people on the backs of smartphones.