Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Why do people at a busy bar never know what they want to drink when the bartender gets to them? I've known since yesterday.

   Wanna freak people out? Lick your fingertips when you finish pumping gas.

   The people who doesn't believe we landed on the moon in 1969 are the same people who wears tin foil hats, thinking almost everything a is a conspiracy orchestrated by someone with nothing to do.

   Ironically it's the things people don't say that tell you everything you need to know.

   gonna get a dog and name him naked so when people ask me where I'm going I can say I'm walking naked down the street

   My main plan for success is that all the better people quit first.

   Fact: 69% of people find something dirty in everything they read.

   Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever. Bartenders, they are called bartenders.

   Some people are a lot funnier when they're on fire

   Science is for people who like to think about what's being told. Religion is for people who like to be told what to think.

   Marilyn Manson had a Sex-Change Operation and people now call him Lady GaGa

   FOX NEWS....Rich people paying rich people to tell middle class people to blame poor people.

   MARY was handpicked by God to bear his son, MOSES was handpicked by God to bring the Israelites out of Egypt, NOAH was personally asked by god to build the ark, but the POPE is chosen by ballot box. One of these people is an impostor.

   "FOX NEWS- Rich People Paying Rich People To Tell Middle Class People To Blame Poor People. "

   wondering why Facebook doesnt have a relationship status that says "SLEEPING WITH YOUR MAN" You KNOW a lot of people would be down for that on FB!!!

   I'm going to get drunk white girl annoying tonight.

   People with multiple personalities scare me. Speak for yourself b*tch. That's right, you heard him.

   FACT: 69% of people find something dirty in everything they read

   Satan must be boring. There are other ways of making people suffer other than setting them on fire, making them listen to Justin Bieber is a start.

   I'm at a point in my life where I'm just at a point in my life. Something I would say if I was drunk in a bar called ''Point in My Life.''