Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   some people deserve the middle finger more often

   A record 93 million Americans are out of work, and more people lost insurance than got insurance in last 5 years.

   People on Facebook do realize that dead people can't read their RIP shout outs, right?

   people who say "Age is just a number" — Age is clearly a word.

   I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren't we helping to find them?

   Guys, hear me out on this one.. A zombie outbreak could be prevented altogether if people were buried with their shoe laces tied together. Boom, you’re welcome.

   I'm glad thought bubbles aren't visible, or else people would think I'm a complete psychopath,

   I hate it when people complain someone posted the outcome of a sports event because they recorded it to watch later. If you don't want to know the score, then stay off the internet!!

   I hate rich people who think they are above and better than the poor and middle class,hey people when your gone they'll use manure on your grave just like mine

   I'm going to open my own Walmart... Every register will be manned... A bouncer at each front door that will not let "THE PEOPLE OF WALMART" come in. And the slogan will be "Get yo' sh@# & get out."

   hates people who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

   My notifications say i'm being followed by 23 people on here. I wonder how many are Police?

   there a better way to let people in a bar know you're an a$$hole other than carrying around a motorcycle helmet?

   When people ask why do I NEED a 30-round magazine for my gun, I say "Why did Rosa Parks NEED to sit at the front of the bus?" Because she had a right to do so. That's why.

   Rodney King said, "Can we all get along? The answer is no because too many people make a very good living making sure we don't....right, Reverend Al?

   I'm opening up a tattoo shop just for blind people. I wont really tattoo them. I'll just stab'em with a needle taped to a vibrator for an hour

   Biden figures people won't be complaining about rising gas prices or empty store shelves if they're high on crack. . .

   "I'd hit that".......................... - Old people driving

   If you enjoy watching Harlem Shake videos, don't ever complain about "stupid people." You're one of them

   People usually ask me why I don't have any tattoos, I asked them " would you put a bumper sticker on your Ferrari ?