Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   It's strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people's heads .

   I'm running out of people I can tolerate!

   Santa is a Republican 1. He sits on his butt all year long. 2. He has other people do all the hard work. 3. He then takes credit for giving away all the free stuff they made.

   people are really clever on facebook they always now what day it is and they always want to tell you its friday

   Utlimate compliment for a woman: I'm not drunk, and you are still cute!

   Some people say “If you can't beat them, join them”. I say “If you can't beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

   I'll be thankful when people stop filling my entire wall with posts about what they're thankful for.

   are most of these anti trump people on welfare?

   What is it with blind people and walking their dogs?

   For the last time people....... I'm not fat! I am just so full of sexy that it over flows... There is a difference!

   Immature: A word used by boring people to describe fun people.

   If you love to make your own homemade beef jerky, don't get a vanity tag for your vehicle that says "LUV2JERK." People will laugh at you.

   sick of people saying "im so sick I feel like ive been hit by a truck" well, I have a truck if they really want to know the feeling! :)

   Cut off fake people for real reasons, NOT real people for fake reasons.

   helping people find Jesus, one funeral at a time...

   it me or are 75% of the people that use handicap parking spots not suffering from a handicap at all???

   if sex with 3 people is called a threesome and sex with 2 people is called a twosome then you should understand why they call me handsome

   Sometimes Religion is a crutch for the weak, the lazy, the clueless and the plain ignorant. Many times I have witnessed Christianity used as a refuge by some people who cannot deal with life and its daily struggles, so they turn towards religion for help.

   In 2011 the government will start killing all mentally challenged people. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little retard, save yourself.

   I had a near death experience, and I saw heaven. People were screaming and there was fire everywhere. It was glorious.