Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   After the age of 35, people start losing 7,000 brain cells a day. That number is tripled if they have a Facebook account.

   Dont let those people hurt you when they call you fat. Just keep your chins up!!

   Don't think I know half of my FB friends....Who the heck are you people?

   I'm tired of the stereotypes people have about the Irish. As soon as I finish this beer I'm leaving the bar and kicking someone's ass.

   I just figured it out,, Conspiracy theorists are pobably just people who never got over finding out that wrestling was fake.

   I think greedy people need to be shot on sight with a bazooka full of exploding sh!t.

   If I ever end up missing, please put my picture on a bottle of whiskey and not a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.

   sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.

   My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !

   that serial killer Raoul Moat has shot and killed 3 people now, One more kill and he'll get a care package, then we're really f**ked.

   If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.

   All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

   Why is it the people who talk the MOST, always seem to say the LEAST?!?

   I hate people with fake names on facebook... Sorry Jamee Snickers Daughtry and Ashley Snookie Capulto you are now defriended

   People who say I need to go out more often need to shut up more often

   Ever read the nutrition facts on a bottle of water??? It does nothing for you people!!

   Some people need to realize that having fat on their bodies doesn't make them fat - it makes them alive.

   I just unlocked the "Restraining Order" badge by stalking people who use 4square.

   There are some people you'll never see again, but they're never the right ones.

   Trying to convince a kid, no matter the age, that they're tired, is like trying to tell a drunk they're drunk. Denial & anger will follow.