Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

   RELATIONSHIP: A bond between two people; One person works to create/maintain love and fufillment while the other person waits for something better to come along....:(

   Why is it that people always point to their wrist when they ask what time it is? I don't see them pointing to their ass when they ask where that bathroom is!!!

   Drunk is... Fumbling in the dark with a condom wrapper, only to discover you've been trying to open a packet of McDonald's ketchup for the last 15 minutes.

   I love old people because they're wise and smell like soup.

   I really, really, really enjoy watching people cry when they get sent home on X Factor. I smile everytime the tears fall.

   Corned beef and cabbage. Proof that drunk people really will eat anything.

   Ok, my friends list is now exactly at 1.000 people! I'm not adding anymore. New request will be forwarded to the Hosni Mubarak's facebook page, because the poor guy has 0 friends!

   Life is a puzzle. Stop trying to place people where they don't fit.

   thinks it's hilarious that some people see any comparison at all between Wall St protesters freely demonstrating and slavery.

   welfare and/or food stamps with no intentions of ever working; and 535 useless people in the U.S. House and Senate. Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer!!

   I will get drunk and dress like Batman tonight. The city needs me. Unfortunately, wife won't let me out the yard when I'm dressed like this.

   "Dude I wasn't that drunk".... "Dude you started watching the Twilight Trilogy"

   America, a country where people spend half of their money on food, and the other half on losing weight.

   with some people I wouldn't even pee on if they were on fire, in fact I'd take out a marsh mellow and enjoy.

   Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.

   Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

   I Love People Who Find It Easy To Agree With Me But I Respect The People Who Can Muster The Courage & The Balls To Disagree With Me!!

   People make life so hard. smile be happy. hold no grudges. and have sex

   “Facebook is the people you went to school with. Twitter is the people you wished you went to school with.”