Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   To all the people who wanted change in 2008-This November time's up

   why do people on Facebook make a effort out of telling everybody in a huge paragraph how bad & boring their day was to make people feel sympathetic...Get over it, everybody has their bad days but maybe it would be better if you kept it to yourself.

   I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it

   Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”

   The only thing standing between me and greatness is millions of people who are more talented and want it more.

   I don't simply have problems like people often talk about. I just date or marry them.

   Why is that people who always demand respect have done the least to earn it?

   some of you people are taking the term Fat Tuesday way too seriously

   Married people die longer.

   My girlfriend would be so mad if he found out that I'm telling people she's my girlfriend.

   it me or 80% of handicap people don't actually suffer any handicapped situations at all.

   Just think of all the millions and millions of people Dr Laura will help by being off the air

   off slapping people with pickles

   It amazes me how many people complain about privacy on Facebook than have there profile set to public. Morons!

   Some people mistake kindness as an invitation to suck the goddamn life right out of ya.

   Some people think it's them against the world, when actually, it's usually them against themselves.

   It’s cute how some people hide the fact that their uncle inappropriately touched them as kids by starting fights with strangers online.

   As it turns out, most people don't even notice when I'm withholding sex from them.

   Day 4; I'm Thankful my dad got drunk and did my mom in the back seat of his 64 Dodge Dart...Thanks Pabst Blue Ribbon

   There are two types of people who can tell you the truth about yourself: an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.