Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People will always throw stones in your path ! It dpends on You ! what do You make from it: A “Wall” of difficulties. OR, A “Bridge of success.

   Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?

   At some point you outgrow feelings and you outgrow people. Its nothing personal. Its part of human nature. As much as we would want it to, nothing lasts forever.

   Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.

   just realized there's Amish people living at the end of my street. There's a sign down there that says "No Outlet"

   19 people died in Chicago this week from Covid-related gunshot wounds. They will be voting by mail.

   When are people going to start arming themselves? This is stupid people getting to shoot at you without getting shot at.

   as much authority as the Pope, he just doesn't have as many people who believe it

   If I ever get as excited about the McRib as the people in the commercials do....SLAP ME!

   I hate when people don't know where "to" put quotation marks.

   Apparently each year, more people get killed by donkeys than in aeroplane crashes.So to summarize, if you ever see a donkey on an aeroplane, you're in f*cking trouble.

   I feel sorry for people who don't drink; when they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

   Dear "LOL".....Thanks for helping me make people think their jokes were funny.

   I bet two thousand years ago, people were pretty psyched for 11

   Facebook people often post things far too personal. That occurred to me while in line at the druggist getting Anusol.

   Why do people feel the need to let everyone know that they are deleting numbers out of their phone........Like I really give a FUGG

   Send me one more game request and I'm showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister

   Kind people without hidden agendas rock my world.

   Why do people say you can;t have your cake and eat it too? That is the complete opposite of every cake having experience I have had in my life.

   I just saw a gang of really drunk mosquitoes leave my arm and high-five each other. Weird.