Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I know 5 people who are clinically insane , I'm 2 of them

   Facebook's great for tedious daily updates from people who should have inched away from you in the natural continental drift of life by now.

   I don't really care to people's opinions when I can hit their IQ on a dart board.

   33,000 people attended Hillary clintons rally/ concert yesterday. I wonder if they received the tickets via email..

   I was thinking about the wikileaks revelation that the cia records people through their cell phone. It occured to me that they must have millions upon millions of hours of nothing but the sound of a toilet flushing.

   How can you look at some of the people you see in Wal-Mart and still believe in Intelligent Design?

   Not many people take kindly to me. I really like those kinds of people.

   It's bad manners to ask someone how many people they've murdered.

   There are 2 types of people in this world: those that can parallel park on the 1st try and those that don’t think they are better than everyone else.

   If you think about it, a boxing match is really just someone trying to count to 10 but they're constantly being interrupted by a fistfight between two other people.

   Wanted: 6 people to dress up as Zombie Teletubbies and join me in a circle howling at the moon in my neighbor’s arbory No weirdos

   Just once can we make someone regret inviting 10,000 people to their Facebook event.

   A taser but for people who say "it is what it is".

   Some people say they don’t know what to do with their hands in pictures. I still haven’t figured out what to do with my face.

   People who enjoy salt & vinegar chips are a sturdier breed, more prepared for life’s challenges

   Half the world is made up of people with something to say but can't & the other half is made up of people with nothing to say but keep on saying it anyway.'

   Made it to that level of drunk where you knock over a display in a convenience store.

   And that's why some people shopuld never play poker

   Today President Obama gave a major speech where he defended his handling of the economy. And there were tons of people in the audience, you know, since nobody had to be at work.

   People who say goodnight to facebook are annoying, I mean it's not like facebook is gonna reply goodnight or anything...