Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Some people think I'm quiet, others wish I was.

   I don't care about what people think or say about me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive and appealing.

   You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.

   thinks it is nice when people are at least a little humble, even if it isn't their BEST quality like it is for me.

   It’s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!

   Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I'm concerned.

   Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it's the stupid people who need it?

   I'm not an a$$hole, I just play one around stupid people.

   iOS 8.0.1 is designed to get people to stop calling their friends to brag about owning the new iPhone.

   I hope the irony of people stealing each other's "Melania Trump plagiarism" jokes on Facebook is not overlooked.

   The six flags rollercoaster that people got stuck on.... Obamas fault.

   If you tell a lie and myth so many times, people will eventually believe it so much that they will actually fight to preserve it. Government and Religious institutions are incredibly crafty at this.

   Went to the movies. There must have been 400 people. Most of them were not there to see the movie, but to compete in a popcorn box and chocolate wrapper rustling competition. Others came to cough

   I don't like the idea of having to go on in a world where good people like Robin Williams is no longer with us, but Justin Beiber is still alive and well.

   n't it odd that people will fight for toilet paper but not for their freedom?

   Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd like to bring a guest.

   Wait til the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald's find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.

   I'm starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.

   n't it amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're leaving?

   apprantly I told my dog to go to his room until he was ready to talk, thats how drunk I was.