Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I predict you'll be seeing a lot more people using pogo sticks, thanks to these gas prices

   Appreciate the good people God gave you because he will take them back one day.

   Nothing good ever comes from getting involved with the girl who can play pool incredibly well when she's drunk.

   After a while you just get used to people not understanding.

   The best way to live a miserable life is to pay attention to what other people are saying about you.

   You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.

   you can't expect dumb people to do smart things

   My god some people would join anything... I mean if they had a cause for taking a dump in centeral park , I am sure there would be some takers!!!

   When people say "don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful" you shouldn't answer with "Don't worry, I have plenty of other reasons to hate you."

   When people ask me dumb questions, my doctorate degree in sarcasm requires that I give them a sarcastic answer. What!? I took an oath!

   So let me get this straight...The Hulk smashes cars and breaks things and people call him "incredible". I do it and people call me an "alcoholic" because I'm not green.

   I like to write a bunch of nonsense on Facebook walls when I'm drunk and announce the next day that my account was hacked.

   If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?

   I don't want a relationship where people say "They look so cute together." I want one where they say, "Look how happy they are together."

   Her legs are like the waffle house.. Open 24/7 but people only eat there when they're drunk

   Earlier today I got a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.I told them to kiss my a$$. Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving..lol

   If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?

   Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

   When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.

   Some people only pick up a Bible when they want a tattoo.