Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I attack ideas, I don’t attack people. Some very good people have some very bad ideas. If you can’t separate the two, I suggest you find another day job.

   The ghosts from A Christmas Carol are the scariest, because they show you what people are saying about you behind your back.

   I’m all out of snacks. What else do people do for fun? 🤔

   We often clean our homes when people are coming over so we can maintain the façade of a clean house that we’ve seen from going to other people’s homes who clean their house to maintain the façade of having a clean house.

   Beginning to see the need for censorship. Certain people are just too ignorant to be allowed to speak.

   That’s supposed to be a high five emoji, not praying hands. People out here dying and you’re high fiving.

   Welsh woman used to curse people by falling to their knees, pulling out their boobs, and screaming obscenities at their victim. It’s sad how we let some traditions die.

   The fact that people were hoarding toilet paper proves one thing. Humanity is full of crap.

   Cognitive Dissonance ~ Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When they’re presented with evidence against that belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted.

   The same people who are candy to our eyes can be poison to our hearts. Study their ingredients before feeding them to your soul.

   To the people who react to my posts daily, may your life be full of puppy kisses and kitten snuggles.

   People who get offended when I breastfeed in public need to calm down. What I’m doing is natural and it strengthens the bond between me and my dog.

   An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

   Stop trying to please people who don’t like you and embrace the joy of being the most annoying person they’ve ever met. 😊

   I fully intend to haunt people when I die. I have a list.

   China Hut: People that don’t like cats, just haven’t had them prepared properly.

   There are two kinds of people when you explain that all drugs should be legal.

   When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

   If you hate yourself, remember you’re not alone. A lot of other people hate you too.

   When people talk about traveling to the past, they worry about radically changing the present by doing something small, but no one in the present thinks that they can change the future by doing something small.