Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I dont trust pregnant people. I have a feeling they're hiding something....

   I don’t judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, or gender…I base it on whether or not they’re an as$hole.

   Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life's problems

   I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.

   Some people can rely on their personality for birth control.

   I hate it when certain people exist.

   Trying understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.

   I love it when people I hate get in trouble.

   there are two types of people in the world; Those who know how to handle stress and those who need bail money

   People should understand a smile is not an invitation for a conversation.

   if ignorance is bliss then there are a sh#t load of people in paradise

   Funny how people who keep saying "I'm always there for you" are usually the ones responsible for your miserable life.

   when people say that drinking is not the answer, it makes me wonder if they truly understand the question.

   With a infinite amount of information at their fingertips, why are there so many stupid people in the world?

   Of course I know my pants are unzipped lady...its a great way to meet people who check out my crotch.

   If MTV landed on the moon again, would people even care?

   True crime was invented to remind people that life could be worse

   My new phone just autocorrected kindergarten to Kardashian. That my dear people, is exactly what is wrong with this world.

   Know what more people in this world need?????? Exit wounds.

   There are way too many people in this relationship.