Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   will never understand rich people with messed up teeth.

   When is the excessive use of the word 'swagg' going to die already. Getting tired of hearing it in every rap song. Bad enough people don't even know the true meaning of it.

   Did a Facebook search for childhood friends. Found out they're still people but DID NOT ADD THEM. That's how you use Facebook. For stalking.

   Facebook is a great way to connect with boring people who are bad at the internet.

   On a day like Valentine's Day, some of the most dispiriting things single people can endure are the possibility of eternal solitude, questioning your own desirability, and worst of all, realizing the snap you just received is from Team Snapchat.

   Don't you wish some people would start using glue instead of lipstick???

   Sometimes people want to have full conversations in the morning, and it's ok to kill those people.

   Sharks don't kill people. Tornados with sharks kill people.

   I lost my job as a Walmart greeter. Apparently it's okay when people enter the store to say, "Welcome to Walmart" . . . but not okay to add "and that's not just the booze talking, either!"

   Another problem with being ugly is people think you can fight

   There are GOOD COPS and BAD COPS. It is time for more people to shout out the BAD cops and thank the GOOD cops.

   Nobody drops pianos on people like they used to and that’s a shame.

   Looking at people posts I think facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “What’s your problem today!?”

   was preparing for Sunday, but I just realized that post-rapture looting makes no sense because so many of us will still be here. Particularly people in public office and law enforcement.... : (

   FACEBOOK - helping people get sh*t off their chest since 2007

   I believe in Karma That means I should be able to do bad things to people I don't like and assume they deserved it .

   Facebook seriously needs to start asking some people, “Are you SURE you want to post that stupidity?" before it allows them to update their status.

   People just dont get practical jokes any more, prank calls, super glue on the toilet, the electic toaster in the bath... Sigh

   I notice one thing in common with almost all the detective shows...shallow grave...c'mon people ..if you werent so lazy, you wouldnt be in prison..

   Some people just need a hug. Around the neck. With a rope.