Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.

   Some people are like eye-candy... I'm more like eye-meatloaf.

   Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.

   A moment of silence for all the brave coffee beans that gave their lives, so millions of people can get through another day.

   Be yourself" is the worst advice you can give to some people.

   The only thing more annoying than working for a living is people.

   I hate when I get drunk and start bidding on e-bay

   Certain people come into your life as a blessing, others as a lesson and a few as a punishment.

   "not drunk, hes just exhausted from being up all night drinking"

   I wonder if Asian people put smileys like this ¦)

   Next time you use the bathroom, take your pants off, hang them over the side of the stall and randomly shout out "RELEASE THE KRACKEN!" Let people know you mean business!

   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

   Some people just need a hug... Around the neck. With my hands.

   I like to keep the security people at places like Best Buy, etc on their toes. Therefore, when I am leaving after having made a purchase and my item(s) still sets off the alarm, I will always take off running like a bat out of hell. Merry XMas!

   9 out of 10 Canadians believe that out of 10 people, 1 Canadian will always disagree with the other 9

   If people who shop at Walmart, "Save Money. Live Better." Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?

   just told that karma will come back around if I make fun of stupid people...now, I only make fun of rich, goodlooking skinny people!

   I love when people post "whats going on tonight!" or "text me with plans" if your friends need reminded to text you with plans you have no friends.

   I can't wait until people start posting pics of the temperature display in their car. I'm waiting on pins and needles to see how hot it is where you are.

   "Herrreee kitty, kitty, kitty" ~ Me, drunk, about to get bit by a raccoon.