Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   FYI: All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats, if you push people off them and sit real fast.

   The easiest way to keep people from getting involved in your personal problems is to not post them on the internet.

   The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.

   Evidence from Social Media Usage shows that the number of idiots on earth is going to surpass the number of normal people by the year 2015.

   My local Taco Bell put in super bright parking lot lights so when people buy drugs they know they aren't getting shorted.

   Eat a whole pizza and people say, whoa you were hungry! Eat a whole cake and people say, dude you've got a problem!

   it's funny how the people that say "I Can't stand Drama" usually cause the most of it. but the people who say "im used to it" cause none.

   says Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups..,,.!! :P

   ‎9 out of 10 people believe that out of 10 people 1 will disagree with the other 9

   There wouldn't be so many warning labels if we didn't have so many stupid people in the world.

   The only thing I hate about having a phone is when people call.

   Life is like an FB friend list, people come into your life an present unlimited possibilities. What you do with them is up to you. Some you interact with. Some you don't . And some you say "Who the heck is this person and what are they doing in my life?

   came home to find the cat drunk again. the dog of course said nothing.

   Take the hint people...... Earbuds are a do not disturb sign.

   I wish I'd say "Yes" to an aisle seat. Now I'm at the window, drunk and in charge of the emergency door. In case of emergency, climb over me.

   Do we lazy people go to hell OR do they send someone to pick us up?

   No amount of college can prepare you for how angry you'll get at the way people park in the real word.

   I read somewhere that people in the Middle Ages celebrated the end of the plague with orgies. I wonder if anyone has planned anything after this epidemic?

   "There are no stupid questions" - People who have never tried to watch football with their girlfriends.

   Some people dream of success, others are awake & work hard at it.