Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Building credibility on Facebook is like having sex with a blow up doll and telling people you get laid all the time!

   Disney World : A people's trap operated by a mouse.

   its not Christmas time yet and Starbucks is holiday happy. We still have to get though thanksgiving people.

   There r 3 kinds of people in this world.Ones who make things happen,Ones who watch things happen,And ones who wonder what the hell just happened!!!

   People go on and on about the length of Subway's sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?

   Why do fat people say they have to start eating right? They've obviously mastered the art of chewing and swallowing.

   with some of the ugly pics some people post of themselves, I'm just glad facebook isnt in HD

   Not many people can say their Batman wallet matches their underwear. I can.

   If you told me 100% of serial killers were "morning people" I'd believe you.

   I don 't care what you believe or how you feel. F**k terrorists and f**k the people who hate us. I am glad Hussein is dead and glad Bin Laden is Dead. God bless America.

   I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things

   What if black people have been gold this whole time???

   now enemies with you and 5 other people.

   got a phone call asking to donate clothes for the starving people of the world..I laughed so hard I cried..if they can fit in my clothes they ain't starvin'!

   thinking God must love stupid people...he made so many!

   They sent my Census form back-AGAIN!!! In response to the question: "Do you have any dependents?" I replied - "12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 8.5 million unemployed people, 7 million in prisons; millions in every state collecting.

   wondering why people are giving me cards on MLK day saying "my bad"....

   Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

   Some people call me the Space Cowboy., some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice.... those people suck at nicknames.

   For the record, people don't get arrested and indicted on "no evidence" but continue on with your delusions.