Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I wonder how people would react if I walked in Sea World with a fishing pole?!?

   World Cup Finals... Its Heineken vs. Sangria. screw it, lets get drunk!

   I swear ugly people find love faster.

   NJ Gov Christie has cancelled Halloween… people are being asked to send any previously purchased Candy to the Office of the Governor.

   Not going to debate gun control with people who eat laundry soap and don't know which bathroom to use.

   I don't see why people are so against gay marriage. I don't have a problem with it. Their main argument is that gay marriage would tear the social fabric. Do you think gays would do anything to harm fabric?

   I think we need someone to run next term who will campaign on getting rid of the electoral vote and let the people decide who is to be our president.

   I saw some drunk guy chasing his shadow down the street screaming "Give me back my wallet."

   Some people wish that Morgan Freeman narrated their lives. I on the other hand would choose Optimus Prime.

   Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday

   People are always worrying about getting gray hair. But actuall gray hair is pretty cool. Just ask any guy that's bald.

   Some people think that I assume the world revolves around me, which of course is total nonsense. The world revolves around the sun, which shines out of my a$$.

   its funny how people say they gonna change and its a new year shut the hell up you gonna be the same person just a diff year

   Notice the same people that complain about being broke are the same people that are updating status saying out shopping on Black Friday.

   Bernie Sanders is finally going to pay his staff the $15 minimum wage he advocates for. But he's going to reduce their hours. He has proven the point that increasing the minimum wage to $15 will cost people hours and jobs.

   hates people who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

   Cinco de mayo : or as I call it...The day that all the people who complain about Mexicans all the sudden want to celebrate their holiday just so they have a reason to drink today..

   Ok, slow down people. We're starting to evolve in the wrong direction.

   I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don't want people to recognize me when I'm taking a dump.

   Majority of Religious people have given religion a bad name.