Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Could switching to Geico really save you 50% or more on car insurance???.....Does being on Facebook really give you the feeling that people's lives are a little over-exaggerated just by reading their status updates?

   7 out of 10 England Fans think England will win the World Cup 2010. . . . the other 3 aren't drunk yet!

   Nice try "blocked" number, but I don't even answer the phone for people I know.

   People at work often call me a miracle worker because its a miracle getting me to do some work.

   Yes Grandma, I'm almost positive Arachnophobia is not the fear of people from Iraq

   When people tell you things "as your friend", that means they hate you and want to destroy you.

   I attend wedding simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."open bar"

   Certain people think they are way more important then they actually are. Especially where I work.

   It's so hot outside,, that other people's balls are sticking to my legs.

   Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.

   f people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?

   At this point, people still invite me to things bc they want to see how creative my excuse will be for not going.

   I find it odd that people say they are poor yet all family members have smart phones,laptops, hundreds channels on TV. Game consoles..

   China has blocked Twitter. Now 1.3 billion people will have no idea what I'm having for lunch.

   People who want happy endings have to write their own.

   why is it that people like to sit in the front seat of the car, but the back seat of the bus?

   People know what tautology means or they don't.

   I attribute most of my good days to a couple of people with voodoo dolls canceling each other out.

   I have more money now than I did when I went out last night. Which means I exchanged goods and/or services while drunk. Not good.

   New N.S.A. Watchlist: People who hurt my feelings on Twitter.