Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Don't hit people with glasses. Use your fists.

   Cartoons were better when people got anvils dropped on them and accidentally smoked dynamite like cigars.

   In Scotland, it's illegal to be drunk and in possession of a cow. I just want to know how many times this happened before the government had to put their foot down.

   I don't get why people pay $600 or more a month in child support. According to the Sally Struthers, you can feed a kid for 35 cents a day.

   I saw those Italy videos of people singing in Italy so I started singing to my neighbor and one lady told me to shut the *&^% up

   Its true, Alcohol kills people. But on the bright side, if it wasn't for alcohol half my friend probably would have never been born.

   Some people are like that annoying advert that interrupts a video you’re watching and you can’t skip it.

   Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.

   There's 2 types of people in this world, people who give 110%, and the people who passed 4th grade math.

   If a supervisor at work gets the Covid, do the people who kiss his ass have to get tested? Asking for a friend.

   Walmart has announced that all normal looking people will now have to pay admission to enter the store

   A new study says that a lot of people on social media today will believe anything that starts out by saying a new study says.

   My therapist told me to write letter to the people I hate and then burn them. OK. I did that, now what do I do with all these letters?

   If we want to make America great again, we will have to make evil people fear punishment again.

   I'd like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...

   we need funny material not people who think they are funny

   I just saw 9 homeless people giving each other flu shots under the overpass. What a caring community we live in. ‬

   People are starting to relax about coronavirus. I coughed at the grocery store and only one person tased me.

   Do people who pay $20 for corn mazes know that you can go get lost in Ikea for only the price of three days of meatballs?

   Milestone Alert: This is my 100th Post From a toilet....I'd like to thank the fine people from KFC for making this post possible!