Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Before social media, what did people who desperately crave attention do? Did they have to contribute something of importance to humankind?

   You far-rights and far-lefts are really screwed up people. Thank God I'm in the middle.

   I would be more of a people person at work if HR would agree to day drinking.

   The best sign of a happy loving relationship between two people on Valentine's Day is no sign of it all on Facebook.

   Be nice to overweight people. They have a lot on their plate.

   "Some people say that one's personality is reflected off of their car... Well, I have no car."

   Thanks to television, I now believe that all janitorial and supply closets in hospitals are being occupied at all times by people having sex.

   Do you think many people look at others facebook's and judge them off what they see or what was said, I dont because thatd be pathetic. But if youre out there, hi. :)

   You know people who say they don't want to be on Facebook because they don't want to read what people are having for lunch? Screw them, I'm eating a sandwich.

   What other people think of you is none of your business.

   As of today, Starbucks will allow their employees to display tattoos and ear gauges. Those are the round plugs that some people put in their ear lobe to let the world know their dads never played catch with them...

   Ok I understand Food Stamps are for people who can't afford food. I can't afford GAS where is my fuel stamps???

   Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but sometimes it's good to see who cares enough to break them down.

   thinks the world would be a lot more fun if people screamed when they yawned...

   Some people may hate you for being different & not living by society's standards, but deep down... they wish they had the courage to do the same

   Tough times don't last but tough people do. -Macho man Randy Savage

   If sober me won't do it...drunk me will.

   Some people should be very grateful I don't have mob connections.

   Love: Nature's way of tricking people into reproducing

   accepted the People's Choice award for best portrayal of a status update