https:/www.galaxus.ch/en/sector/showdiscussion/snapchat-xhack-visit-kunghaccom-c4o8wfhy-227421 Funny Status Messages

   I live at work and visit the house sometimes.

   There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.

   * asks plastic surgeon " can you make me look like this Snapchat filter minus the crown of flowers?"

   I was wearing glasses before it was a Snapchat filter...I'm a trendsetter

   My mother-in-law came to visit, I asked, "How long are you going to stay?" She said, "As long as you want me to." I said, "You're not even going to stay for coffee?"

   Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home.

   There's no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.

   If you watch Scarface backwards, it's about a man who gives up cocaine and crime to follow his dream of becoming a dishwasher to earn enough money so he can visit Cuba.

   WELCOME TO FACEBOOK, the place where relationships are perfect, liars believe they are telling the truth, & the WORLD shows off they are living a great life; where your ENEMIES are the ones that visit your profile the most, your FRIENDS & FAMILY block you

   When I die, I want my tombstone to have free WiFi, that way people visit more often

   Next Season on Survivor: Sixteen Congressmen try to hold down jobs in the private sector.

   I think for next season's "Survivor" they should take 16 congressmen and make them get jobs in the private sector.

   I dont know why these stupid employment agency websites keep suggesting that I link my job application profile to my Facebook page. If employers ever visit my Facebook page, I will never get a job in this lifetime.

   If you don't like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends' pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally take a $hit all by themselves.

   My favorite state to visit? Unconsciousness

   The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.

   Irony is people complaining about Facebook's privacy settings when every other update is about their weekly visit to their gynecologist.

   If you want to visit a real graveyard this Halloween just log back onto MYSPACE.

   On Friday nights I visit a club so exclusive nobody else knows it exists. It looks bizarrely like my living room & needs new cleaning staff.

   Too old for snapchat and too young for Life Alert.