Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Em htiw ssem ot seirt ereh no esle enoyna ro uoy fi neppah ot gniog si tahw s'taht esuaC. sregnarts etelpmomc tuoba parc gniklat rof uoy fo tuo dekcik parc eht nettog reve uoy evaH !ztangI yeH 
You want my address? Here it is! 1781 Zumbehl Road St Charles Missouri!
You're going to need more than just a glass of water to wash away all your ignorance. In fact, you're going to need a whole ocean to wash away the crap you're so full of.
You do you. Because God knows no one else will.
Save $ decorating your Christmas tree well at the same time confusing your WiFi by placing Aluminum foil in the Paper shredder. Viola Tinsel and sketchy reception.
Looks like GaryKoenig is back. Afraid to use his name on the jokes that are the same and still so very lame. lame
Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life outta nowhere, makes your heart race and changes you forever. We call these people cops.
Happy Thanksgiving ya turkeys!
I've just been to a safety meeting at work. They asked me "What steps would you take in the event of a fire"? "Really big ones!" was apparently the wrong answer.
My wife's New Year's resolutions: 1. I will not nag my husband. 2. I will not boss my husband around. 3. I will obey my husband's every command.
They should release the movie Groundhog Day under the name Groundhog Day 2 and call it a sequel
Why does the last bite always taste like fish?
Van Jones is correct when he says Canada would be one huge blue state. Canada, could very well be the logical man's savior.
Ooh Yoda! And did it really take you all day to come up with that insult?
They said iv got ADHD and it's the most ............ Hey look a Squirrel
An infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters and an infinite amount of time would eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare.
Here you go moron! 400 Oak Ave, St Charles, MO 63301
Don't know why I'm so surprised Taylor swift got engaged with Travis Kelsy? Like I've been expecting her to call me any day now to tell me your the one I want!
Big ass booty
A condom is a diaper for your privates 