Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   You seem to be very well educated on the stuff you make up.

   DON'T TOUC- my tax dollars, which were not intended for your pet projects and the corrupt, virtue-signaling Socialists who spew the garbage you all take as gospel. It’s not a slush fund and a money laundering operation through left-wing NGO's to make po

   Yes, it's great to be a Flordia Gator!

   Yes, it's great to be a Florida Gator!

   Writing your posts backwards because your looking at your phone upside down while bent over the back of the couch getting 🦴'd by your Can*ck neighbours Siber*an husky

   It's like talking to a brain damaged parrot.

   Aww poor baby! What's the matter? Do you have such low self-esteem that you deliver cheap insults to complete strangers online, make up crap, and make fake profiles online? The only thing you're looking at is your own reflection in the mirror.

   Idiotic Facebook cooking reels have turned me into the misanthrope I am today.

   Good night, everybody. Night sweats, no... sweet dreams. That's it... sweet dreams.

   In ancient civilizations, marriage was often seen as a contractual agreement between families, with the bride sometimes considered property. It's kinda the same nowadays except when it ends, the groom loses his property.

   The 'world's', not the "worlds. I didn't include the possibility of other inhabited planets, although you and Koening would qualify. Back to remedial English class, you ignoramus.

   !slacirtcele eht gnireenignE

   !orez yb gnidivid

   You know how women living in the same house have their periods at the same time? Guys living in the same house get the squirts at the same time. Only it's not once a month. It's once an hour.

   It took me 2 seconds, Yoda.

   Harvesting work from paperclips

   Now that I've gotten older, I've come to realize why Bigfoot stays away from people.

   My new ring tone is a woman faintly screaming ‘Help me, Superman. Help me!’ and then I run away, unexplained.

   It's Shark Week. Sharks kill an average of 5 people a year. Cows kill an average of 22 people a year. When is Cow Week

   As much as I kinda sorta like Trump, I have to say that by all appearances, he caved to a degree (not a complete fold... there are still tariffs) under pressure. It was the right move.