Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Having babies is the solution to all of the world's problem? Sigh.

   If taking cat naps at work as often as I do had anything to do with it, then I'm pretty sure I can sleep my way to the top.

   A friend is typing..... A grand is typing..... A friend is typing..... A friend is typing..... A friend is typing..... Friend says lol

   Post Malone and Luke Combs could probably really do some permanent damage on peoples hearts if they wrote a song together

   Marriage tip #3: When you have to run some errands and your wife doesn't want to go with you, just grab yourself some Dunkin Donuts, don't get her any. When she asks why you didn't grab her anything, just say, "If you truly loved me, you would have gone w

   I must express appreciation to you just for rescuing me from this challenge. As a result of searching throughout the search engines and seeing advice that were not helpful, I believed my life was well over. Existing minus the approaches to the problems y

   There have been only two authentic geniuses in the world, Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare. — Tallulah Bankhead

   Wednesday morning? might as Well call it rensday roaring!

   my tinder date ended up being a bald mannequin I was so embarrassed at the restaurant and then at the hotel

   You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one......but think the odds of winning the HGTV Dream Home are pretty good.

   sellin 2nd chances $100 hmu lmk.

   -I think one of my friends gets the award for “most insightful drunk” for his comment, “It’s such a nice night…if only the sun were out!” Too bad he didn’t get to see much more of that night.

   I precisely had to appreciate you once again. I am not sure what I could possibly have gone through in the absence of those tricks shared by you on such question. It has been a real troublesome matter for me, but looking at a new well-written strategy you

   Trere is a new line added to this years tax form that reads, Would you like $3 of your federal tax go to buying us a sandwich?

   Mother Goose Haiku: Old Mother Hubbard Looked in cupboard for dog food Nothing for that dog.

   glad all they boyfriends and husbands and People are away

   No wonder Italy is feeling the worst of the Coronavirus. They're all out on their balconies singing two feet away from each other.

   lot of traffic and your Alexa ranking isn’t as strong as it could be.

   Erica And Lilo Are Just Like Gnomio And Juliet>:<

   I go gas for a $1.49, but its too bad it was at Taco Bell.